Category: Psychotherapy

Can Online Therapy Be as Effective as In-Person?

Many people considering counselling ask the same question: “Can online therapy really work as well as meeting in person?”

It’s a fair question. For many people, therapy has traditionally been something you attend in a therapist’s office. Sitting in the same room can seem as though it would naturally create a deeper connection.

However, after several years of providing virtual counselling to clients across Alberta, I’ve found that online therapy can be just as effective for many people — and sometimes even more accessible.

What Actually Makes Therapy Effective?

Research consistently shows that the most important factors in successful therapy are not the room you sit in, but the relationship and the process. In my clinical experience, therapy tends to be most effective when several key elements are present:

  • A strong therapeutic relationship
  • Clients feel safe, understood, and respected
  • Consistency in attending sessions
  • The use of evidence-based therapeutic approaches
  • A client’s readiness and engagement in the process

These factors can develop just as naturally in an online session as they do in person.

Why Online Therapy Works Well for Many Midlife Women

Many of the women I work with are balancing multiple responsibilities at once, their careers, family life, supporting aging parents, and managing their own health and well-being. One of the biggest benefits clients mention about online therapy is convenience.

Virtual sessions eliminate travel time, which means:

  • No commuting across the city and in unpredictable traffic
  • No parking or travel costs
  • No rushing to make it to an appointment after work
  • Greater ability to keep sessions on time and consistent

Many clients also feel more comfortable talking from their own home, where they already feel safe. For women with full schedules, this can make it much easier to prioritize their own well-being without adding more stress to their day.

A Real-World Example

For example, I worked with a client who was a shift worker living outside Calgary. Driving to Calgary for therapy would have been unrealistic given her schedule.

Through online counselling, we were able to schedule sessions that worked around her shifts. She could log in from home without worrying about travel, time constraints, or even what she was wearing after a long workday.

Because location was no longer a barrier, she was able to receive consistent support while navigating important personal decisions in her life.

Virtual therapy also allows me to work with clients across Alberta, making counselling accessible even if they live outside Calgary.

Online therapy also increases access to care. Many people face barriers such as distance, busy schedules, mobility issues, or limited availability of therapists in their area. Virtual sessions remove many of these obstacles, allowing clients to connect with a qualified therapist from the comfort of their own home and access without the added stress of travel or scheduling constraints.

Common Concerns About Online Therapy

Before starting online therapy, many people share similar concerns:

  • concern about technical issues
  • privacy and confidentiality
  • whether sessions will feel too impersonal
  • Difficulty finding a quiet, distraction-free space from family and pets!
  • Feeling Zoom-fatigue post-pandemic while craving human interaction

These concerns are understandable. However, most clients find that once they begin, the experience feels far more natural than expected.

Virtual counselling officeHow I Create a Safe and Personal Online Therapy Space

Creating a safe and supportive therapeutic environment is just as important online as it is in person.

In my virtual practice, I focus on several things to ensure sessions feel comfortable and secure:

  • Using a secure, confidential platform
  • Reinforcing confidentiality from my private home office
  • Maintaining eye contact and attention to non-verbal cues
  • Creating a warm and welcoming office setup with good lighting
  • Offering the option of video or phone sessions

These small details help create a space where clients can feel relaxed, heard, and supported — even through a screen.

Is Online Therapy Right for You?

Online therapy can be an excellent option if you:

  • Have a busy schedule
  • Prefer the comfort of your own space
  • Live outside the city
  • Want to avoid travel time
  • Need greater flexibility around work or family demands

For many people, the convenience of virtual sessions makes it easier to stay consistent with therapy, which is one of the most important ingredient for meaningful change. What to expect on your first visit.

Final Thoughts

Therapy isn’t about the room, it’s about the relationship, the process, and the work you do together.

Whether sessions take place in an office or online, what matters most is having a space where you feel safe to explore your experiences, gain insight, and move toward a more fulfilling life. Here are 5 ways to get the most from your therapy sessions.

If you’re considering therapy and wondering whether online or in-person sessions might work best for you, you can learn more about my and book a free consultation.

Book a Consultation

 

The 5 Cs of Effective Therapy

Many women come to counselling in midlife saying something similar:

“I don’t feel like myself anymore.”

For some, it’s the emotional weight of menopause, changing sleep, and nervous system dysregulation. For others, it’s accumulated stress, unresolved trauma, relationship changes, or a growing sense that something in life needs to shift.

Midlife is often a powerful turning point—but it can also feel confusing and overwhelming.

One question many women quietly ask before starting counselling is:
“What actually makes therapy effective?”

While there are many therapeutic techniques and approaches, meaningful change often comes from a few core elements that shape the counselling relationship and process.

I often think of these as the 5 Cs of Effective Therapy.

1. Connection: Feeling Truly Seen and Understood

Healing begins with connection.

In counselling, this means creating a space where you feel safe enough to talk openly about what you’re experiencing—without judgment or pressure to have everything figured out.

For many women in midlife, this may be the first time they’ve had a space that is fully theirs.

A strong therapeutic connection allows you to:

  • speak honestly about what you’re feeling

  • explore difficult emotions safely

  • begin making sense of experiences that may have been carried for years

When you feel understood, the nervous system can begin to settle—and that’s where meaningful reflection and change can start.

2. Compassion: Softening the Inner Critic

Many women in midlife carry a harsh internal voice:

“I should be handling this better.”
“Why can’t I just get over it?”
“Other people have it worse.”

Compassion in therapy helps gently challenge these beliefs.

Rather than focusing on what’s “wrong,” compassionate counselling helps you understand how your experiences, stress, and life transitions have shaped your current patterns.

This approach can be particularly powerful for women who have experienced:

Learning to relate to yourself with compassion can be one of the most transformative aspects of therapy.

3. Curiosity: Understanding Your Patterns

Therapy isn’t about analyzing you. It’s about exploring your experiences together with curiosity.

Curiosity allows us to look at patterns without judgment. For example:

  • Why do certain situations trigger anxiety or overwhelm?

  • Why does sleep become more difficult during stressful periods?

  • Why do old memories or emotions sometimes resurface in midlife?

Midlife often brings a natural period of reflection. Curiosity helps turn that reflection into understanding rather than self-criticism.

When we become curious about our reactions and experiences, we create space for new perspectives and healthier responses.

4. Collaboration: Working Together Toward Change

Effective counselling is not something that happens to you—it is something we build together.

Collaboration means:

  • setting meaningful goals

  • identifying strategies that feel realistic for your life

  • adjusting the process based on what is or isn’t working

Some women come to counselling wanting practical tools for sleep or anxiety. Others want to process deeper emotional experiences or trauma.

Both are valid, and therapy works best when it reflects your needs, pace, and priorities.

5. Consistency: Creating Space for Lasting Change

Meaningful change rarely happens overnight.

Consistency in therapy allows you to gradually:

  • build awareness of patterns

  • practise new skills

  • process experiences safely

  • strengthen emotional resilience

For many women in midlife—who have spent decades supporting others—regular counselling can become a grounding space to pause, reflect, and reconnect with themselves.

Over time, this consistent support often leads to greater clarity, emotional balance, and a renewed sense of direction.

Midlife Can Be a Turning Point

Midlife is often portrayed as a crisis. In reality, it can also be a powerful opportunity for growth and renewal.

Counselling offers a space to:

With the right support, midlife can become a time of greater self-understanding, resilience, and meaningful change.

A Gentle Invitation

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or simply not like yourself lately, counselling may provide the space you need to reflect and move forward with greater clarity.

You don’t have to navigate this stage of life alone.

What to expect from your first visit.

Accelerated Resolution Therapy

Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) is a gentle, evidence-based approach that supports you in releasing troubling thoughts, images, or body sensations by replacing them with ones that feel more positive and empowering. I offer this process in a compassionate and secure environment — without requiring you to talk about the full details of your trauma. This is done quickly, most often within one session! Once the negative images have been replaced by positive ones, the triggers will be gone. Nightmares and repeated intrusive thoughts will stop.

One of the unique benefits of ART is how quickly it can create change. Throughout the process, you remain in control, while moving past what feels stuck and have you leave feeling renewed, peaceful, and positive.

ART is also unique in that it combines the enormous power of eye movements, to allow voluntary changes in the client’s mind, with well-established therapies like Gestalt, Psychodynamic Therapy and Guided Imagery. Eye movements are calming and therapeutic have  been shown to produce theta waves in the brain. Theta waves have been connected to creativity, intuition,  and daydreaming. These brain waves are often present during meditative states.

Although some traumatic experiences such as rape, combat or loss of a loved one can be very painful to visualize, early in the ART session the client has already rapidly moved beyond the place where they are stuck in these past experiences and is making positive changes of their choice. ART sessions are calming and very often joyful, especially at the end, for both the client and the therapist.

Here are some issues that have been quickly and effectively treated by ART:

  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Phobias
  • Panic Attacks
  • Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
  • Post Traumatic Stress (PTS)
  • Addictions/ Substance Abuse
  • Performance Anxiety
  • Family Issues
  • Victimization/Poor Self Image
  • Victimization/Sexual Abuse
  • Relationship Issues/Infidelity
  • Codependency
  • Grief
  • Job-Related Stress
  • Pain Management
  • Memory Enhancement
  • Dyslexia Anxiety

For many, the relief is not only fast but also life-changing. ART is helping people move beyond their struggles and reclaim joy, clarity, and resilience in their daily lives. Healing doesn’t always have to take years—sometimes, lasting change is possible in just a single session. Learn more here or book your consult call today.

If you have heard of EMDR, here is an article explaining how it is different from ART

ART is a highly directive, scripted approach where the therapist actively guides clients to replace distressing images and sensations, often achieving resolution in a single session. EMDR is a client-led, free-associative process that focuses on cognitions and typically requires multiple sessions, with the therapist intervening only when processing becomes blocked.

What is Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction?

— and How Can It Support Your Mental Health.

by Sandra Wiebe

In the midst of a busy life, juggling relationships, career changes, caregiving, or even just the quiet shift into a new chapter it’s not uncommon to feel overwhelmed, anxious, or disconnected. For many midlife women, stress becomes a near-constant companion. But what if there was a gentle, evidence-based way to relate to stress differently, with awareness, compassion, and intention? Enter Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR).

What Is MBSR?

Originally developed in the 1970s by Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, MBSR teaches participants how to use mindfulness to manage stress, pain, and illness, encourages moment-to-moment awareness, noticing your thoughts, feelings, and body sensations without judgment.

Present moment awareness.

Being present, in the moment, taking in what is here and now is mindfulness.

It’s not about clearing your mind or achieving a state of bliss. Rather, it’s about learning to be with whatever is present, with greater clarity and calm.

 

Why It Matters in Midlife

The midlife season is often one of reflection and transition. It can bring hormonal shifts, changing family roles, grief, health issues, or questions about purpose and identity. These layers of stress can quietly build up, impacting your mental well-being and sense of self. MBSR offers a way to pause, breathe, and come home to yourself.

Through regular mindfulness practice, many women report:

  • Feeling less reactive and more grounded
  • Improved sleep and concentration
  • Greater self-compassion and emotional resilience
  • Relief from anxiety and low mood
  • A renewed connection with their body and inner wisdom

The Science Behind It

MBSR has been widely studied, and the research is encouraging. Studies show that participants in MBSR programs often experience reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety, improved emotional regulation, and increased grey matter in brain regions linked to learning, memory, and emotional balance.

Put simply, mindfulness helps rewire the brain,  creating new patterns that support peace, presence, and mental flexibility.

A Simple Example

Imagine you’re having a difficult day, perhaps you’re feeling criticized, overlooked, or stretched too thin. Instead of spiralling into harsh self-talk or numbing distractions, mindfulness invites a pause. You might notice the tightness in your chest, the swirl of thoughts, the urge to react. With practice, you learn to soften, breathe, and choose a kinder response. That’s the heart of MBSR, not avoiding stress, but transforming your relationship with it.

You deserve tools that help you not just cope with life’s challenges, but meet them with strength and softness. Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction isn’t a quick fix,  it’s a compassionate pathway back to yourself.

If you’re curious about integrating mindfulness into your healing journey, feel free to reach out , I’d be honoured to walk alongside you. Learn about how to get the most from your counselling session.

Book a Free Consultation

Embracing Change in Midlife

by Sandra Wiebe

Midlife Transitions: How Counselling Can Help You Thrive, Not Just Survive

Midlife is often described as a period of significant transition. For many women, it can feel like standing at a crossroads—facing personal, professional, and emotional shifts that bring both challenges and opportunities. While some women embrace these changes with confidence, others may feel overwhelmed, uncertain, or even stuck. If you resonate with these feelings, know that you’re not alone.

Counselling can be an invaluable tool to help navigate this stage of life with clarity, resilience, and purpose. Let’s explore some of the common struggles women face in midlife and how professional support can make a meaningful difference.

Woman in midlife seeking support for managinge stress and emotional regulation with Calgary therapist on line.Common Midlife Struggles Women Face

  1. Changing Family Dynamics
    As children grow and leave home, many women experience “empty nest syndrome,” a period of emotional adjustment that can leave them feeling lost or questioning their identity. Additionally, stepping into the role of caregiver for aging parents can introduce stress and emotional strain, adding to the complexities of midlife.
  2. Relationship Transitions
    Marriages and partnerships can evolve during midlife, with some experiencing increased connection while others face separation or divorce. Whether you’re navigating relationship changes, re-entering the dating world, or simply redefining your personal identity within a long-term relationship, counselling offers a supportive space to explore your emotions and gain clarity.
  3. Career and Work-Life Balance
    Many women reach a point where they reassess their career path, either seeking a new professional direction, striving for better work-life balance, or facing challenges in the workplace. The desire for meaningful work, coupled with potential ageism in the workforce, can create stress and uncertainty.
  4. Health and Menopause
    Hormonal changes in midlife can bring unexpected challenges such as mood swings, anxiety, fatigue, and sleep disturbances. These shifts can impact emotional well-being and self-confidence, making it essential to have strategies in place for maintaining both mental and physical health.
  5. Feelings of Invisibility and Self-Rediscovery
    Many women in midlife report feeling overlooked—both personally and professionally. This can lead to a period of self-reflection and rediscovery, where women seek to reconnect with their passions, purpose, and identity beyond their traditional roles.
  6. Coping with Multiple Stressors
    Managing a combination of responsibilities—family, career, health, and personal aspirations—can feel overwhelming. Many women experience burnout, anxiety, or depression as they juggle these competing demands.

How Counselling Can Help

Counselling provides a compassionate and non-judgmental space to explore these challenges while developing tools to move forward with confidence. Here’s how it can support you:

  • Emotional Processing – Gain insight into your feelings, reduce overwhelm, and find clarity during times of change.
  • Stress Management – Learn healthy coping strategies to handle anxiety, burnout, and life’s uncertainties.
  • Self-Exploration & Goal Setting – Define what truly matters to you in this phase of life and create a path toward fulfillment.
  • Relationship Support – Navigate relationship changes with confidence, whether that’s improving communication, coping with divorce, or rebuilding self-esteem.
  • Navigating Menopause with Emotional Well-being – Learn mindfulness and self-care strategies to manage the emotional aspects of menopause.

Practical Steps to Embrace Midlife with Confidence

If you’re feeling lost or uncertain about the future, there are actionable steps you can take to regain a sense of control and fulfillment:

  • Seek Professional Support – Counselling can offer guidance and validation as you navigate this transition.
  • Prioritize Self-Care – Whether through exercise, mindfulness, or creative pursuits, nurturing your well-being is essential.
  • Redefine Personal Goals – Midlife is an opportunity to reflect on what truly brings you joy and purpose.
  • Build a Strong Support Network – Surround yourself with like-minded women who uplift and inspire you.

You’re Not Alone—Support is Available

Midlife is not an end; it’s a powerful new beginning. With the right support and mindset, this stage of life can be one of the most fulfilling and empowering yet. If you’re feeling stuck or uncertain, counselling can provide the tools and encouragement you need to embrace change with confidence.

Ready to take the next step? Book a session today. Let’s navigate this stage of life together—with clarity, strength, and purpose.

Beyond Talk: How Yoga Therapy Enhances the Counselling Journey

by Claire MacEachen (Guest Post)

Research shows that mindful movement, deep breathing, and meditation can lower stress hormones, reduce inflammation, and improve mental well-being.

What Is Yoga Therapy & How Can It Help You?Claire offers Movement Mastery classes to support aging women move better and reconnect with their body and movements.

Yoga is more than just poses and flexibility—it’s a powerful tool for healing. As a yoga therapist, I use pure movements to help reduce pain, down regulate your nervous system with breath work and stillness practices to integrate and heal. Unlike a regular yoga class, which focuses on general fitness and well-being, yoga therapy is tailored to the individual. It’s a holistic approach that considers your unique needs, whether you’re dealing with chronic pain, stress, anxiety, or recovering from an injury.

How Does Yoga Therapy Work?

Yoga therapy combines movement, breathwork, meditation, and mindfulness to promote healing. Each session is personalized, meaning we don’t follow a one-size-fits-all routine. Instead, I assess your concerns and design a practice supporting your health goals. For some, this may include granular movements to improve how your body moves. For others, it may involve breathing exercises to calm the nervous system.

The goal is to create balance—physically, mentally, and emotionally.

The goal is to create balance—physically, mentally, and emotionally. Whether you struggle with back pain, insomnia, or high stress, in yoga therapy, I help you listen in to your body’s signals. From there you can start to build a library of movements as well as breath and stillness practices that you can access at anytime.

Who Can Benefit?

Anyone can benefit from yoga therapy, but it’s especially helpful for those dealing with:

  • Chronic pain conditions like back & hip pain, foot pain, tight shoulders, arthritis
  • Stress and anxiety
  • Post-surgical recovery and rehabilitation
  • Those wanting to get back to activities they love but have put them on the back burner due to pain and believing it’s not possible.

I believe it is!

Yoga therapy complements other care such as chiropractic, acupuncture and physiotherapy.

What to Expect in a Session

A typical session starts with a conversation. I’ll ask about your health history, lifestyle, and goals. Then, we’ll work through a sequence of movements, breath exercises, and mindfulness practices designed specifically for you. I may also suggest simple techniques you can use at home to continue your progress.

Unlike a fast-paced yoga class, yoga therapy moves at your speed. The focus is on gentle, intentional movements that support healing. Over time, you may notice less pain, improved mobility, better sleep, and a greater sense of calm.

Why Yoga Therapy Works

Yoga therapy is backed by science. Research shows that mindful movement, deep breathing, and meditation can lower stress hormones, reduce inflammation, and improve mental well-being. It activates the body’s natural healing processes, helping you regain balance and resilience.

If you’re looking for a gentle, effective way to improve your health, yoga therapy might be the answer. Whether you’re dealing with a specific condition or simply want to feel better in your body, personalized yoga therapy can help you find relief and restore your sense of well-being.

About Claire MacEachen

Claire trained at Functional Synergy, an IAYT school for yoga therapists and has been a teacher of yoga since 2008. She specializes in helping people move beyond pain and regain strength, mobility, and confidence. Through this work, she has overcome her own pain, grown stronger than ever, and returned to activities she once set aside, like running and weight training. This personal transformation fuels her passion for guiding others on their journey to pain-free movement—so they, too, can get back to doing what they love.

You can contact Claire at Body Motion Yoga to book a Yoga Therapy session or join a yoga class where she incorporates many of the techniques and principles of Yoga Therapy.

Breaking Free from Codependency

by Sandra Wiebe

Insights from Codependent No More by Melody Beattie

Many women in midlife feel responsible for fixing situations or people, but Beattie teaches that letting go and allowing others to face their own consequences is an act of love, not abandonment.

As women in midlife, we often find ourselves juggling multiple responsibilities—caring for children, aging parents, maintaining relationships, and managing careers. In this phase of life, it’s easy to slip into patterns of putting others’ needs before our own. Codependent No More by Melody Beattie is a transformative book that shines a light on codependency, a pattern of behaviour that many of us unknowingly develop. If you’ve ever felt exhausted from taking care of everyone else while neglecting yourself, this book is a must-read.

What is Codependency?

Beattie defines codependency as an excessive reliance on relationships, often involving controlling, enabling, or sacrificing one’s well-being for others. This behaviour frequently stems from growing up in environments where love felt conditional, or where chaos and unpredictability required constant care-taking. Codependent individuals may struggle with setting boundaries, experience guilt when prioritizing their own needs, and find themselves drawn to people who are emotionally unavailable or dependent on them.

Calgary therapist supports women in midlife to understand their co-dependency behaviours, relationships, and how to set health boundaries and establish self-care and build self-esteem.Key Takeaways from Codependent No More

  • Awareness is the First Step. Beattie helps readers identify codependent tendencies, such as people-pleasing, difficulty saying no, and a deep-seated need for approval. She encourages self-reflection, helping women recognize the patterns that may be keeping them stuck in unfulfilling relationships.
  • Detachment and Letting Go. A crucial concept in the book is learning to detach from the problems of others without losing compassion. Many women in midlife feel responsible for fixing situations or people, but Beattie teaches that letting go and allowing others to face their own consequences is an act of love, not abandonment.
  • Setting Healthy Boundaries. For women who have spent years prioritizing others, establishing boundaries can feel foreign or even selfish. However, Beattie emphasizes that boundaries are essential for emotional health. Learning to say no without guilt, protecting one’s time and energy, and expecting respect in relationships are all part of breaking free from codependency.
  • Self-Care and Self-Compassion. Beattie advocates for putting yourself first—not in a selfish way, but in a way that allows you to nurture your own well-being. She discusses the importance of self-care, from physical health to emotional and spiritual practices. Midlife can be an opportunity to rediscover who you are beyond the roles you’ve played for others.

How I Can Support Your Healing Journey

If you resonate with the struggles outlined in Codependent No More, you don’t have to navigate this journey alone. As a counselling therapist, I help women in midlife break free from patterns of codependency, build healthier relationships, and cultivate self-worth. Through compassionate support and evidence-based strategies, I guide clients toward setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and embracing their own needs without guilt.

If you’re ready to reclaim your life and step into a more empowered, fulfilling future, I invite you to connect with me for a counselling session. Together, we can create a path that honours your well-being and helps you build the life you truly deserve.

Caring for Yourself while Caring for Aging Parents

by Lorrie Morales (Guest Post)

As a child, I loved the teeter-totter at the playground. Now, as I take my grandson to the park, he gravitates to the same equipment I once enjoyed. The funny thing is that when he sits on it, he fits perfectly; but when I try to navigate my legs and balance myself, it’s awkward and uncomfortable. It reminds me a lot of how life feels in midlife, trying to balance the needs of aging parents while maintaining my own responsibilities, self-care, and mental well-being. And then there’s the guilt.

For many women in midlife, caring for aging parents is a complicated emotional experience. You love them and want what’s best for them, but the stress and anxiety of managing their needs while still working, maintaining relationships, and caring for yourself, can be overwhelming. The key to avoiding burnout is recognizing that you have limits and cannot do everything alone. Thankfully, there are ways to navigate this season of life with more balance and less guilt.

Open, Honest Conversations

The first step is communication. Sitting down with your parents to discuss their needs—both physical and emotional—can provide clarity. Are they struggling with mobility? Do they need social engagement? If they resist help, remind them that your concern is about their safety and well-being. Involving them in decisions honours their independence while allowing you to set realistic expectations. Sometimes, small adjustments—such as encouraging them to stay active or engage with grandchildren, can help them feel valued while easing your burden.

The big question many midlife women face is: How can I best support my parents without sacrificing my own well-being? If you have siblings, dividing responsibilities can help. However, for those navigating this journey alone, finding support is essential.

Build a Support System

If you’re the primary caregiver, it’s important to reach out for help. Friends, faith communities, and local organizations often have resources available. Many women feel they must shoulder everything themselves, but care-giving doesn’t have to be an isolated experience. Seeking professional caregiver assistance, meal delivery services, or even a trusted neighbour to check in can alleviate stress.

I recall a dear friend who recruited a small group to sit with her father for a few hours so she could attend her son’s wedding. At first, she felt guilty asking for help, but in the end, she realized how many people were willing to support her. Accepting help is not a sign of weakness—it’s an act of self-care and sustainability.

Prioritize Your Well-Being

Midlife is a season where stress and anxiety can take a toll on both mind and body. Many caregivers continue to work full-time while also managing their own families and personal commitments. It’s easy to put your own needs last, but doing so only leads to exhaustion and resentment.

Self-care is not selfish—it’s essential. Exercise, nutritious meals, and time with friends are not luxuries; they are necessary for maintaining emotional balance. Whether it’s a yoga class, a quiet walk, or simply enjoying a cup of tea without interruption, carving out time for yourself should be a non-negotiable part of your routine.

That teeter-totter of life will always have ups and downs, but you don’t have to stay stuck at one end. By reframing guilt and embracing self-care, you’ll be in a better position to care for others.

Plan for the Future

One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and your parents is preparation. Difficult conversations about finances, healthcare directives, and long-term care options are easier when they happen before a crisis occurs.

In my book,  We Can Do This! Adult Children and Aging Parents Planning for Success, I discuss the legal, financial, and medical aspects of care-giving. Being proactive can reduce stress and anxiety and provide peace of mind for both you and your loved ones.

We Can Do This! Adult Children and Aging Parents Planning for Success by Lorrie Morales. Calgary Therapist supporting caregivers of aging parents thru self care and suport for the adult in midlife to reduce stress and anxiety.If you find yourself struggling with stress, guilt, or the overwhelming emotions of care-giving, you’re not alone. Let’s find a way to balance the teeter-totter, without losing yourself in the process.

About Lorrie Morales
First and foremost, Lorrie is an educator. Over the course of her career, she has worked as a teacher and filled multiple roles associated with the profession. She has realigned her interests since retirement, but enjoys professional learning, designing, or working as a consultant and workshop presenter. She is an author of a children’s book, self-help book and a youth novel. She is also a contributor to journals and magazines.

As a counselling therapist in Calgary  I support women in midlife who are navigating these complex challenges. If you need guidance in finding balance, setting boundaries, or simply a space to talk, book an appointment with me. Together, we can explore strategies to help you move through this stage of life with more confidence and ease.  -Sandra

Childhood Winter – Childhood Trauma

by Sandra Wiebe

My parents had cases of photographic slides in an old suitcase, and I finally got around to getting them scanned. This sweet gem was among the images of cousins, birthday parties, and long-forgotten camping vacations.

This poorly composed image, in which I uncommonly still have my head, is captured in the photographic style of my mother. Here, I look wildly content as I pose squint-eyed into the sun with patchy snow at my feet and a low winter’s shadow behind me.

Our backyard was our playground. Most of the time you’d find me and my brothers out on the hill, regardless of the temperature, after school, Saturdays and even Sundays (after church, of course). That old ringer-washer lid was my favourite makeshift toboggan. It made the ride fast and unpredictable, even out of control.

The dog would make chase, barking frantically alongside us down the slopes, tugging at the pant legs of our snowsuits, never tiring of any of it. Winter meant snow forts, snowmen, sledding, snowball fights, and my birthday.

(The following short story is a piece of my childhood, one of beautiful memories but also a glimpse into the trauma that is so common to many. The point in sharing is that trauma has a way of waiting until midlife to remind us of our unhealed parts, it is the reason I became a therapist at aged 58. We heal in community, we heal in the light, secrets keep us stuck in pain and shame.)

A Winter Birthday

The snow fell all night, strong and steady. My eyes were glued to the outdoors through the wet windowpane; its peeling paint and frost forming. The snow piled up high and I felt giddy.

My childhood home, perched on the edge of a ravine, provided an excellent hill in the winter for sledding for me and my siblings, the dog, and sometimes an occasional neighbour.

Winter and daily sledding would be in full swing by the time my birthday rolled around in February.

A few days before every birthday my mother would get out the special birthday cake book. Its corners were tattered from the years of past birthday celebrations. A few pages stuck together. The book smelled of icing sugar.

There were penguins, snowmen, clowns, and trucks to choose from, so many possibilities. I took my time turning each crusty page. It was this one day I felt free, these were my choices. Today it was all about me.

The day came and my brothers and I gathered up the sleds, the old ringer-washer lid, shovels and even bits of cardboard to prepare for the afternoon. The toboggan hill had only a few gentle areas where the boys hadn’t piled up snow for runs and jumps. The all too short, but steep hill ended abruptly at a barbed wire fence. This required either expert navigation or a skilled and sudden self-evacuation from the ride.

How often I wondered if those rides taught me ways of survival. I turned 52 the year I received a letter without warning, without a return address. It was brief, stunted in its efforts to extend an apology – the only letter my father had ever sent me.

I was special, he said. The same phrase he offered up with each inappropriate childhood encounter. The same words that came with the knowing that I had to find a way to endure what always came next.

I began trauma therapy for the first time after that letter. Fight, flight or freeze. I came to understand that as a child I couldn’t fight back, I had nowhere to flee, and so freezing meant survival.

Reciprocating with a written reply to my aging and deaf father provided a chance to thaw from my silence, a silence that protected him, never me.

My mother, blind from macular degeneration, took nearly three months to respond with a phone call under the pretext of wishing me a happy birthday. Blind to her own scars, she proceeded to rant. She offered no empathy, no apology, only an insistence that I should let go of this grudge.

The wind was knocked from me as if I hit frozen ground, the wooden sled splintering. My whole body shivered as I looked up and saw the barbed wire before me.

The truth is, experiences like this shape who we are and leave us feeling stuck, lost, confused, emotional, and numb. But you are not alone, and we can take steps together to face the past and find ourselves here in the present moment, living a rich and meaningful life.

Let’s start this journey together, book a consult call.

Sidebar