Finding Balance in Midlife: Caring for Parents While Caring for Yourself

As a child, I loved the teeter-totter at the playground. Now, as I take my grandson to the park, he gravitates to the same equipment I once enjoyed. The funny thing is that when he sits on it, he fits perfectly; but when I try to navigate my legs and balance myself, it’s awkward and uncomfortable. It reminds me a lot of how life feels in midlife—trying to balance the needs of aging parents while maintaining my own responsibilities, self-care, and mental well-being. And then there’s the guilt.

For many women in midlife, caring for aging parents is a complicated emotional experience. You love them and want what’s best for them, but the stress and anxiety of managing their needs—while still working, maintaining relationships, and caring for yourself—can be overwhelming. The key to avoiding burnout is recognizing that you have limits and cannot do everything alone. Thankfully, there are ways to navigate this season of life with more balance and less guilt.

Open, Honest Conversations

The first step is communication. Sitting down with your parents to discuss their needs—both physical and emotional—can provide clarity. Are they struggling with mobility? Do they need social engagement? If they resist help, remind them that your concern is about their safety and well-being. Involving them in decisions honours their independence while allowing you to set realistic expectations. Sometimes, small adjustments—such as encouraging them to stay active or engage with grandchildren—can help them feel valued while easing your burden.

The big question many midlife women face is: How can I best support my parents without sacrificing my own well-being? If you have siblings, dividing responsibilities can help. However, for those navigating this journey alone, finding support is essential.

Build a Support System

If you’re the primary caregiver, it’s important to reach out for help. Friends, faith communities, and local organizations often have resources available. Many women feel they must shoulder everything themselves, but care-giving doesn’t have to be an isolated experience. Seeking professional caregiver assistance, meal delivery services, or even a trusted neighbour to check in can alleviate stress.

I recall a dear friend who recruited a small group to sit with her father for a few hours so she could attend her son’s wedding. At first, she felt guilty asking for help, but in the end, she realized how many people were willing to support her. Accepting help is not a sign of weakness—it’s an act of self-care and sustainability.

Prioritize Your Well-Being

Midlife is a season where stress and anxiety can take a toll on both mind and body. Many caregivers continue to work full-time while also managing their own families and personal commitments. It’s easy to put your own needs last, but doing so only leads to exhaustion and resentment.

Self-care is not selfish—it’s essential. Exercise, nutritious meals, and time with friends are not luxuries; they are necessary for maintaining emotional balance. Whether it’s a yoga class, a quiet walk, or simply enjoying a cup of tea without interruption, carving out time for yourself should be a non-negotiable part of your routine.

That teeter-totter of life will always have ups and downs, but you don’t have to stay stuck at one end. By reframing guilt and embracing self-care, you’ll be in a better position to care for others.

Plan for the Future

One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and your parents is preparation. Difficult conversations about finances, healthcare directives, and long-term care options are easier when they happen before a crisis occurs.

In my book We Can Do This! Adult Children and Aging Parents Planning for Success, I discuss the legal, financial, and medical aspects of care-giving. Being proactive can reduce stress and anxiety and provide peace of mind for both you and your loved ones.

If you find yourself struggling with stress, guilt, or the overwhelming emotions of care-giving, you’re not alone. Let’s find a way to balance the teeter-totter—without losing yourself in the process.

by Lorrie Morales

First and foremost, Lorrie is an educator. Over the course of her career, she has worked as a teacher and filled multiple roles associated with the profession. She has realigned her interests since retirement, but enjoys professional learning, designing, or working as a consultant and workshop presenter. She is an author of a children’s book, self-help book and a youth novel. She is also a contributor to journals and magazines.

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As a counselling therapist, I support women in midlife who are navigating these complex challenges. If you need guidance in finding balance, setting boundaries, or simply a space to talk, book an appointment with me. Together, we can explore strategies to help you move through this stage of life with more confidence and ease. - Sandra